As we enter the month of November, we start the vacation season. For grieving individuals, it is a very painful time of 12 months as a result of a liked one has died. I’m a agency believer that households that grieve collectively stand a greater likelihood of coming to grips with the grief as in comparison with members of the family who go off and grieve on their very own. With the vacations approaching, I recommend that households collect and have some kind of formality to recollect their family members.
The ritual is a automobile whereby a liked one can stay part of a household, albeit in a special kind of presence. Their presence is extra mystical than bodily, however they’re current all the identical. They continue to be part of a household system though they’ve gone to the hereafter. They nonetheless have a reputation, are liked by the survivors, and have been part of a household, so why shouldn’t they’ve a component in household festivities?
Will there be tears as they’re remembered? In all probability sure. Tears are OK. Will these tears spoil the festivities for the remainder of the contributors? I hope not. The choice is to pretend it via and never point out this liked one’s title though this title is on each individual’s thoughts and this individual may be very a lot missed.
I encourage households to handle the difficulty immediately after which embrace the festivities. Acknowledging the absence of the liked one could be a therapeutic step; it’s necessary to share some tears and reminiscences earlier than transferring ahead with the celebration. Ignoring or avoiding this individual can result in emotions of guilt and remorse, making it appear as if their reminiscence is being uncared for and disrespected. This added burden can complicate the already difficult feelings that come up from the lack of somebody to suicide, and it’s a value far too excessive to pay. Embracing each the disappointment and the enjoyment can create a extra significant approach to honor their reminiscence.
Some members of the family may select to not take part. That’s OK. It is likely to be an excessive amount of for them to endure. They shouldn’t be penalized as a result of they prevented the ritual. You will need to do not forget that individuals grieve in a different way.
Total, I’m a agency believer that as we keep in mind our family members via rituals, they proceed to be part of a household system. A tragedy worse than dropping a liked one to suicide is that if these family members have been to be forgotten. If there are rituals, these family members will at all times be a part of our households and the household system. They’re gone however not forgotten.
It takes some creativity to place a ritual collectively. The ritual may be quite simple: a toast earlier than a meal and wishing this liked one peace and goodwill. The individual’s image may be displayed in a outstanding place of honor. A candle may be lit in reminiscence of this liked one. A track may be sung or performed. A prayer may be provided, or a scripture passage may be recited. …
The necessary level is that these family members are remembered throughout these holidays. Will such a ritual spoil the gatherings? I don’t suppose so. The primary few holidays with out this liked one tackle a really completely different tone and are very painful. Each succeeding vacation is completely different as a result of this liked one is lacking. The aim is to recollect this liked one with out going to items. This takes time and numerous follow. The rituals assist in the follow and permit members of the family to develop a consolation stage with this lacking individual.
